Wednesday, October 29, 2008


Leaves are a bit like hair, once its no longer attached to one's head it loses all charm and beauty and becomes something utterly irritating that needs to be thrown away immediately.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The Delegates: A Series


None Too Inspired

We survived our trip to Paradise via Reno. Kris and I were able to visit friends and family and get the latest issue of SkyMall. We can now order the World's Larget Crossword Puzzle. Our evenings are now booked until 2054. It was truly an unforgettable trip thanks to the 3 dozen eggs I had to peel in preparation to be transformed into "deviled" eggs and served to a crowd of 60. Or maybe it was when a friend of ours revealed that during a moment, while watching 70's porn in his wild and untethered youth, his astute observation was that one of the gifted "actors" had a noticeable tan line. Perhaps it was when my father-in-law shamelessy ripped out a fart that could be heard from the dark side of the moon. Its hard to say just what made the trip so memorable but our lives will never be the same.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The Delegates: A Series

My, what big EARS you have!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Wishing I was anywhere but here...with this Brain Coral


Today was the first day I didn't like my job. Here's why...

After constructing a giant Brain Coral in SketchUp it was suggested that I erase the interior to reduce the file size. Sounds reasonable enough except the interior of this Brain Coral consists of thousands upon thousands of tiny lines that can only be erased one at a time. There isn't an ounce of creativity or imagination that can be employed with this sort of task. I know its necessary. I know it 'll be worth it in the end. I also know I'd rather have my hand slammed in a door while clutching shards of glass.

Don't get me wrong. I love my job. I look forward to coming to work as opposed to when I worked for the Olive Garden and would pray for a cement truck to hit me on my way to the restaurant so I wouldn't have to put on that ridiculous tie and deal with yet one more idiot who couldn't understand why there was a 2 hour wait on a Friday night for a party of 12. Or the diabetic who failed to eat ANYTHING, threatening insulin shock and litigation, so they could be seated immediately.

Today was just one of those days.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Life Lesson #76

Just because your good friends with someone doesn't mean you'll be instant friends with their friends or spouse. In some cases you'll wonder how in God's name the two of them ever hit it off.

Monday, October 6, 2008

The Delegates: A Series

Palin might consider her hair an extension of her foreign policy experience, I'm sure it has shared air space with Russia and Canada at one time or another.

Shout Out

This if for the prick that decided it was a good idea to text while driving 80 mph on the FREEWAY and failing to look up when he noticed we were coming to a screeching halt. If I hadn't of swerved onto the shoulder to avoid having his Corolla rammed up my ass he would of had to have my fist removed from his. Jerk.