Friday, February 27, 2009

Baby's Breath

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

My Two Cents

It never ceases to amaze me the controversy, judgement and hate that a single, isolated event can stir in people. By now, everyone is familiar with the Nadya Suleman and her octuplets. The media, true to form, has done their best to paint a less than flattering image of her, from plastic surgery, unemployment, fertility doctors, and their insistent reminder that she's on FOOD STAMPS. Oh, the horror!

It is apparent that Suleman has made some less than stellar decisions in life whether from naivete, foolishness, or mental instability, and it has been difficult NOT to judge her. It is far easier to assume that she has a few screws loose, she will be unable to afford to raise her 14 children, and that they can't possibly be getting all the attention and love they need. But not from lack of trying. I don't doubt that Suleman loves her children very much. So much, that if it were possible, she would continue to have children. Her joy seems to be entirely wrapped up in the having with little to no thought to the providing. This certainly isn't grounds for ripping her children away from her or sending death threats. She has more important things to be worrying about like coming up with 8 new baby names and dealing with those monster stretch marks she bared to the entire world.

What I find so hard to believe is the contempt people have for her, insisting that her children be taken from her so they can be in a more beneficial environment. The only argument they have against her is her financial incapability to feed, clothe and house these children ON HER OWN. In all other respects she is being the best mother she knows how to be and none of the children are complaining. Sure her house is dirty and messy but we're not talking about shit covering walls and roaches in the Rice Krispies. Not everyone can have a home with the potential to grace the cover of Architectural Digest and at least she's not neglecting her kids to run a vacuum or fold the endless piles of laundry that accumulate.

This is a significantly complicated scenario because anyone who is willing to help her is seen as forgiving her behavior and no one wants to risk their reputation by helping a woman whose children desperately need it. As a whole, people would rather see her be punished for her actions because that will teach her and anyone else contemplating having more than 1 child at a time a lesson. She just can't pop out 8 kids and expect the world to pay for them. Then EVERYONE would start getting multiple eggs implanted and we'd be overrun with the likes of Nadya Suleman and their litters of children and we would ALL be footing the bill. There goes life as we know it. The End.

Since when did asking for help get answered with a death threat?

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


In spite of the fact that Kris had been awake for over 20 hours he dug deep and found it in himself to remember to pick up flowers for me AND stay awake through an extravagant and heavy dinner. We went to The Keg, a somewhat posh bar and steakhouse that doesn't care that I failed to shower that day because it just adds to the posh disheveled look that is so popular these days. More importantly, they have THE BEST Garlic Cheese Bread in the entire world. If I had only one day to live I would just sit at their bar ordering this bread while getting totally wasted. surrounded by friends and family. and Robert Downey Jr. because he's sexy.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

25 Random Things

1. I detest primates. Any shape. Any size. I think they are nasty little beasts and I loathe being told I am descended from them.

2. My first boyfriend was 2 inches shorter than me. This was one of the major contributing factors to our breakup. Yes. I am that shallow.

3. Once I am friends with someone I want to be friends forever. This doesn't always work out.

4. While I was drifting through college trying to figure out what I was doing I took two semesters of Massage Therapy courses and realized I didn't have what it takes to rub my hands over strange naked people for the rest of my life.

5. The only celebrity I have ever met is Bill Cosby. It's a long story.

6. I have the LOUDEST most painful hiccups in the universe.

7. I have been told I resemble the following actresses: Neve Campbell, Alyssa Milano, Winona Ryder and Sigourney Weaver. Feel free to be as appalled as I was at the last one.

8. I am horrified at my own voice when projected through a sound system or recorded. It sounds nothing like what I am used to.

9. When I was 12 I competed in the International Emerald Cup Gymnastics meet in Oregon and won a Gold medal on Balance Beam.

10. I smoked from 2002 -2003 and my cigarettes of choice are Marlboro Ultra Lights. I still miss it although I'm sure my lungs don't.

11. The first rated R movie I ever watched was Braveheart. My mom justified this because it was historical violence as opposed to gratuitous violence. And she thought Mel Gibson was hot.

12. I attended private schools from kindergarten thru middle school. I don't recommend it.

13. I was on the California freeway while OJ Simpson was making a run for it in his white Bronco. We happened to be going in the opposite direction.

14. I avoid mirrors. Not out of superstition but because I am too self-critical. Don't even get me started.

15. On my one and only visit to Medieval Times I recieved a carnation from the ugliest, nastiest knight in the arena. I'm still pissed about it.

16. I love the ocean. LOVE IT. But I prefer to admire it from the shore.

17. I have had the misfortune of being stung numerous times by jellyfish. I blame this completely on my parents whose brain fart it was to go to the Gulf during a hurricane. Hurricane Andrew that is.

18. I used to save one chicken nugget for my brother when I would go to McDonald's with my dad. He was always generous in his gratitude, eating that cold shriveled nugget like it was the best thing he'd ever had even though its taste and consistency most likely resembled cardboard.

19. I have been a passenger in the Goodyear Blimp.

20. My first Barbie (Hawaiian Barbie) was purchased by my neighbor. He had taken pity on me after months of my persistent nagging to play with his sister's collection which filled the ENTIRE hall closet.

21. I have a piece of pencil lead imbedded in my right knee. That bluish gray dot has been there for as long as I can remember.

22. The most expensive shoes I own are Midnight Blue suede boots with Coral leather piping, imported from Spain. The price tag: $500.

23. I have a deep affection for paper. Wrapping paper. Stationery paper. Writing paper. Origami paper. Etc.

24. The first nude male model I had in art school waxed his entire body. We nicknamed him, Gladiator Balls, for obvious reasons.

25. I saw my husband in the Phoenix airport 9 months before I met him at a Rock Star Party in Reno. I went as Cher. He went as himself.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Pumpkin Humor

click on image to enlarge
It was brought to my attention that female pumpkins may prefer a shorter but thicker stem. However, considering the source this comment was uttered from I'm wont to believe that as far as female pumpkins go, the bigger the better. If you have any objections please feel free to comment here.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Missing Appendage

I dropped my camera two weeks ago and it has long since been shipped off to the camera repair shop but I am so used to having it with me at all times that the past couple of days I have had that insistent nagging feeling that I have forgotten something. More than once I have reached for it anxious to record a specific moment. In order to fill the void I started carting around the ol' standby. My manual camera that requires more than just a rudimentary knowledge of picture taking and the endless winding of the film. I have no idea how the pictures are going to turn out and even if they are total crap I still have to pay for the development. How did we EVER manage before digitial is beyond me. Of course, a load of events have taken place that were screaming to be documented, like the coyote that decided to take a stroll in the field across from where I work or the fox moving silently through the snow in our yard in the wee hours of the morning. These moments are lost forever because I dropped my camers two weeks ago and it broke.