Tuesday, February 10, 2009

25 Random Things

1. I detest primates. Any shape. Any size. I think they are nasty little beasts and I loathe being told I am descended from them.

2. My first boyfriend was 2 inches shorter than me. This was one of the major contributing factors to our breakup. Yes. I am that shallow.

3. Once I am friends with someone I want to be friends forever. This doesn't always work out.

4. While I was drifting through college trying to figure out what I was doing I took two semesters of Massage Therapy courses and realized I didn't have what it takes to rub my hands over strange naked people for the rest of my life.

5. The only celebrity I have ever met is Bill Cosby. It's a long story.

6. I have the LOUDEST most painful hiccups in the universe.

7. I have been told I resemble the following actresses: Neve Campbell, Alyssa Milano, Winona Ryder and Sigourney Weaver. Feel free to be as appalled as I was at the last one.

8. I am horrified at my own voice when projected through a sound system or recorded. It sounds nothing like what I am used to.

9. When I was 12 I competed in the International Emerald Cup Gymnastics meet in Oregon and won a Gold medal on Balance Beam.

10. I smoked from 2002 -2003 and my cigarettes of choice are Marlboro Ultra Lights. I still miss it although I'm sure my lungs don't.

11. The first rated R movie I ever watched was Braveheart. My mom justified this because it was historical violence as opposed to gratuitous violence. And she thought Mel Gibson was hot.

12. I attended private schools from kindergarten thru middle school. I don't recommend it.

13. I was on the California freeway while OJ Simpson was making a run for it in his white Bronco. We happened to be going in the opposite direction.

14. I avoid mirrors. Not out of superstition but because I am too self-critical. Don't even get me started.

15. On my one and only visit to Medieval Times I recieved a carnation from the ugliest, nastiest knight in the arena. I'm still pissed about it.

16. I love the ocean. LOVE IT. But I prefer to admire it from the shore.

17. I have had the misfortune of being stung numerous times by jellyfish. I blame this completely on my parents whose brain fart it was to go to the Gulf during a hurricane. Hurricane Andrew that is.

18. I used to save one chicken nugget for my brother when I would go to McDonald's with my dad. He was always generous in his gratitude, eating that cold shriveled nugget like it was the best thing he'd ever had even though its taste and consistency most likely resembled cardboard.

19. I have been a passenger in the Goodyear Blimp.

20. My first Barbie (Hawaiian Barbie) was purchased by my neighbor. He had taken pity on me after months of my persistent nagging to play with his sister's collection which filled the ENTIRE hall closet.

21. I have a piece of pencil lead imbedded in my right knee. That bluish gray dot has been there for as long as I can remember.

22. The most expensive shoes I own are Midnight Blue suede boots with Coral leather piping, imported from Spain. The price tag: $500.

23. I have a deep affection for paper. Wrapping paper. Stationery paper. Writing paper. Origami paper. Etc.

24. The first nude male model I had in art school waxed his entire body. We nicknamed him, Gladiator Balls, for obvious reasons.

25. I saw my husband in the Phoenix airport 9 months before I met him at a Rock Star Party in Reno. I went as Cher. He went as himself.

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