Third Trimester

So, it's been ages, and I haven't been posting every week about the baby bean because there wasn't anything super NEW to discuss except my swollen ankles. Generally, everything is going perfectly. This little guy moves all the time and it still hasn't become painful jabs or punches to the spleen or bladder, more of an "excuse me while I roll around in this amniotic fluid and find a more comfortable fetal position".

I should post a picture of the bump because it is definitely a BUMP, but apparently not too bumpy because the only word I keep hearing to describe my current prenatal state is "tiny". I'm not a fan of that word, I much more prefer "small" if some sort of adjective has to be tossed out there. For some reason, the word tiny just feels "too small" for me, like I'm an undersized gnome or a shelled peanut, something that could easily be trod underfoot. The statment, "Oh, you're so tiny!" is inevitablly followed by "Just wait...you're gonna get HUGE." People like to play it fast and loose with the hyperboles, I've noticed.*

I am hungry all the time but I can't eat as much in one sitting because my stomach is the size of a grape. I have definitely been getting my money's worth out of the single pair of maternity pants I invested in. I've only had a few people touch my belly without asking, some weird universal notion exists somewhere that this is okay when it TOTALLY isn't.

I have stopped trying to find tasteful AND affordable crib bedding. It simply doesn't exist . So, we're not quite sure what the baby is going to be sleeping on yet but it certainly won't be covered with syndicated cartoon characters named after bowel movements.

My doctor told me that I can have eggnog so if you can't find any it's all in my fridge.

*I've also noticed that this whole post could be considered a hyperbole but in my defense at least I'm referring to inanimate objects as opposed to saying incredibly thoughtless and insensitive things about someone's swelling body to their FACE.